A lot has transpired since I’ve written anything. There has been so much transition in our lives. We’ve moved, my mother had a successful liver transplant, I transitioned from serving in the worship ministry at our church, while God opened a door for me to serve as one of the openers for Tauren Wells in my hometown. All while completing updates and renovations at our new home. Did I mention it all happened within a 3 month period? To say that I have felt unsettled is an understatement. However, during it all I have had peace that I cannot describe. A kind of peace that ONLY comes from the Father.
I had lunch with one of my best friends yesterday and told her that with all the things I want and have been called to do, I lack clarity on what to do first and it has caused me to just sit in limbo. Although knowing the Lord wants to use me, and IS, I still feel useless to a certain extent. Have you ever felt that way? Have you been on the move, walking in purpose and embracing the season of life you’re in all while feeling like something is missing? That’s how I feel. I have been praying for clarity and direction on what to do first, what should I be focusing on? After serving in ministry CONSISTENTLY for 13 years this is the first time I have stepped away, after 3 years of prayer. I’ve tried to rest and embrace this new season. I say “try” because I am also looking for what’s next. I haven’t truly focused on being still. I’ve always said yes to God, but this ‘yes’ feels so different and truly is difficult for me. I’m having a hard time sitting still. Maybe this stillness is necessary to give me the stamina I need for what’s next? I’m not sure yet. I know that sometimes the Lord allows us to have moments like these where all the noise fades and He is able to pour into us in a way he wasn’t able to before because of the distractions, stress, or noise that we are surrounded by. These seasons are truly sacred because we can either draw closer to the Father or end up falling further away because we get in our own way and don’t seek His face in the quiet spaces. I’m still in a place of figuring things out and distractions are abundant these days. I have to just start somewhere and let God lead me and in the moments I have to be still, when it’s quiet, I need to take advantage and seek His face. I need to be more intentional about praying and spending time in His word until I hear my next set of instructions from him.
“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty” Psalms 91:1
I started reading Christy Nockel’s book “The Life You Long For”. In the beginning of the book she talks about the new year and preparing ALL the things that need to be done until God allows her to go deaf. This health scare caused her to be still and forced her to listen to what God was saying. In turn, she received the clarity she needed and a book came out of it as well. Maybe I should finish reading the book haha. Anyway, welcome to this new journey as I navigate what’s next in my life, not as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, or friend; but, as an individual trying to rediscover herself and her passions. More importantly, trying to go deeper in my relationship with the Lord. Sometimes life throws you for a loop. All you can do is embrace it. So here we go.
Welcome to a new chapter in my journey…