Recently I led worship for a Virtual Night of Prayer and Worship. During this time, I ministered a song and encouraging words ,to those watching, about being broken before the Lord. I was singing “Something Has to Break”. For most, I believe, we would associate these words with God doing something for us in our lives. For instance, breaking strongholds or releasing us from spiritual bondage; bringing healing into our lives in whatever area needs it. However, for me, I also believe (and I ministered this during the segment) that the breaking sometimes has to be us. Sometimes we need to be “broken” before the Lord. This means we need to be fully surrendered and transparent before, and to, God about what it is we are thinking, feeling, and experiencing in our lives at the moment. We don’t have to have it all together all of the time. This message I gave, it was for me. As I watched back, I realized that the Lord was speaking through me, for me! This is not to say that someone else didn’t receive this message, but I know it was for sure something He wanted me to hear as well. I think that is the case for a lot of people in the body of Christ who teach, worship, minister in some kind of way. I don’t believe the Lord is going to give us a message for someone that He isn’t, or hasn’t already given to the messenger.
I am currently on a self reflecting journey right now. I’ve been active for so long in the church and it seems as though I am not on an unintended sabbatical. This is actually so good for me. As I try to self reflect often and grow, I was in a space for so long where I was pouring out into others. My focus shifted to my family and my girls and I lost the space where I was being able to be filled myself. It’s so good for me, this current season. I’m in the wilderness as most spiritualists will say lol. In the Valley! I’m going to be sharing this journey with you all very candidly, in a very real and raw way. Not to just help others and walk in the moment with others, but also to help myself. This is real life and right now we are all going through something. I am learning a lot about myself and my response to life and people when I become overwhelmed. My mom is going through a health challenge right now, and it has brought out some thoughts/emotions that I am choosing to embrace and acknowledge so I can do better and ultimately be a better version of myself as I walk through this. My emotions are high right now and my capacity feels low. There is one true comfort that I have and that is within Christ. That comfort is II Corinthians 12:9:
“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly will I rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
I think it is important to know, for those of us to strive to do everything right, that it’s okay to not be perfect. It is a feat that we will never accomplish because we are not Christ. The more honest we are with ourselves the more aware we become and the more we are able to grow into who the Lord is truly calling us to be. He’s not calling us to be perfect. He wants us to be repentant and to embrace who He says we are in Christ! We are fearfully and wonderfully made, we are stronger when we embrace the strength he carries through our shortcomings. We are MORE than conquerors! We are patient, kind, gentle, loving, joyful, merciful, gracious, powerful, peaceful, operate in SELF-CONTROL, good, and faithful (Galatians 5:22-23). Let us remember that as we navigate life. Let’s be honest with our current mental, emotional and spiritual state. God already knows, he just wants us to be honest with ourselves and him so we can prune those areas and bear more fruit.
I’m sharing my segment from the worship night we had and I hope it will bless you in some way. I look forward to walking with you all!
Grace and Peace,